9 October 2001

by Elizabeth Ong

"Chige le. Di be ti i bo?"

My po-po asked as she stretched out her bony finger at a guy who looked barely out of college. It's embarrassing enough to have your maternal grandmother interfering in your personal life but the guy, along with his entire family, was seated less than a foot away from us. He was so close that my po-po could poke him in the eye. To save face, I said aloud, "Be ah! Wa tsi por kilo?"

"Tsabo lang buwetse dit bo kan!" My po-po screamed over the phone the day after. "Di tia u bo?!"

I guess one should expect things like this to happen when everyone who is in the marrying age in your family has already tied the knot. When my po-po was my age, she was already raising three kids in their teens and pre-teens. I am raising a pomeranian.

The "pressure" doesn't stop with my po-po. There's my mom, my ah-ma, my ah-ko, my dad's ah-ko. I wonder if they notice I've stopped attending family gatherings?

So why don't I get married? For one thing, one doesn't wake up one morning and say, "I think I will get me a husband today. I can squeeze that in-between my meeting with our marketing consultant at 10 and lunch."

I guess I am still single because my family taught me too well. While I was growing up, they keep warning me against getting married young. The warnings were so stern I could almost hear the Godfather theme being played on a Chinese ukelele (or whatever that's called). Hearing those warnings have made me focus on other things - studies, career, self-development, anything but putting that ring on my finger.

"But you are no longer young," my relatives would say. Well, I may be too old to qualify for Miss Chinatown but if I die right now, they would definitely say I was young. Anyway, I look young. I am mistaken most of the time as a new graduate. So I can just throw away my birth certificate anytime.

"Bo lang eh kyo gwa Gwa-ma," my mom pleaded. I held up my dog and went, "Hi, Gwa-ma!" My mom's eyes narrowed. When that didn't work, I told her to wait for nine months. I'll come up with something. My mom's vocabulary was never more colorful.

Speaking of grandchildren, after hitting that big three-oh, my relatives have started using that biological clock issue. That is hardly a compelling issue for me since my po-po gave birth twice in her 40s giving me an uncle and an aunt my age.

Hey, lest you think I am probably so ugly that no one would want me, that's not it. I may not stop traffic with my looks but cars and trucks wouldn't want to run me down either.

Don't get me wrong. I would want to get married someday. When that day will come, only the Lord knows. In the meantime, I will just enjoy this single blessedness - that is, if my relatives would allow me to.

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