11 May 2000
by Kei Huynh

On a cold grey day in March 1979 our family arrived in England to start a new life - we arrived in England as refugees from Vietnam. We were known to the world as the *boat people* that had fled a war torn country that was turning communist.

We were ethnic Chinese, living in Vietnam at that time, and now, 21 years on, my sister and brother-in- law had invited me back to Vietnam to celebrate the Chinese New Year with them. This was my first time in Asia since 1979 and I jumped at the chance but I had no idea what to expect.

Touchdown in Saigon

The official name for Saigon is Ho Chi Minh City but I have only ever known it as Saigon. I finally arrived back in a country I had left when I was five. I can still remember little things, like the cylcos (old and uncomfortable tricycle seated bikes) that I was taken to school on by my granddad, standing in the corner of a classroom having my ears pulled for mis-behaving, keeping crickets in a cage to hear them sing and buying goldfish from huge plastic bowls.

I was greeted in Saigon airport by my sister Tuyet, my Brother-in-law Binh and his family. This was the first time I had met them and they made me feel very welcome. As we drove out of the airport and onto the roads, I was shocked to see the volume of traffic. There were hundreds of motorbikes and mopeds, some carrying huge boxes and others carried 3 or 4 people at one go.

The hustle and bustle of Vietnamese life was everywhere. Contrasting images of the exotic and the ordinary abounded, the old mixing with the new. Women in traditional costumes (chong sam with trousers) carried hanging baskets of food for sale, and men collected rubbish in wooden pushcarts. These mingled in with the image of sleek new Internet cafes and suited businessmen carrying mobile phones.

I tried a lot of different Vietnamese food and I did eventually remember many of the unique tastes from my childhood. I wasn't brave enough to try dog or snake but I did have a swig of some Snake Wine, which is cognac with a full sized snake preserved in it with Chinese herbs (It's supposedly good for back problems).

Meeting the Relatives

My first full day in Saigon was spent visiting relatives and family friends - the main purpose was to give them money. My parents had given me six hundred dollars to give away ($100 for each family). I later realised that $100 had the value of 5000 in Britain. Hopefully, this would make their life a little more comfortable, if only for a while.

The average monthly wage in Vietnam is 30 and many foreign companies, such as Adidas and Nike, take advantage of the large supply of cheap labour. In Saigon people accept that they have to work hard and not complain about the low wages because there was always others from the surrounding countryside waiting to replace them.

And those who have no work, or 'rich' British relatives, live on the street and beg. What shocked me most on this trip was the numbers of beggars: able bodied beggars, disabled and limbless beggars, the young, and even families. But for the first time in my life I came face to face with a child beggar * his clothes and face were really dirty. Seeing this at first hand was a shock and made me wonder what kind of future this child would have. Begging is survival.

I know we complain about paying high taxes in the UK but that goes some way to saving our poor from being as deprived as Vietnam's poor. My wallet never stayed long in my pocket. 70 bought 1.4 million Dong and so I was a millionaire for a day or two. In the UK beggars wouldn't give the time of day for 25p but in Vietnam 25p is a hearty meal.

Meeting my extended family again was a really strange experience. The last time my sister and I saw them was twenty years ago when we were both very young. Of course much of the conversation was about mum and dad and what it was like living in the West. I found them unabashed about expressing their feelings or thoughts. For instance, they said very directly how our parents must be quite rich now, owning a nice house and business (our takeaway). I had to point out that they had to work very hard for what they had today and still do. We exchanged our views about living abroad and in Vietnam but I got the feeling that there was always a implicit financial request in everything they said. It was a strange feeling but I actually did feel like a stranger amongst my Vietnamese relatives.

Scars of the War

Emotional scars of the Vietnam War are a permanent reminder of the country's troubled past. Many of the men I spoke to had tried to flee the country, often by sea on rotting boats or through Cambodia on foot. Many were caught and even shot. But those I spoke to told me that if given another chance, they would still try again.

After the war, the civilians were sent to the countryside for 're-education' or hard labour because they were automatically regarded as guilty for siding with the Americans. Many had their possessions plundered and people dared not criticise the authorities. The country was in total disarray and was experiencing hyper inflation with the currency devaluing many times within a short span of time.

I don't remember any of the terrible hardships my parents had to face in Vietnam just before and during the war. I have only heard of their experiences from the stories they and family friends have told me. My early memories are of a normal childhood growing up, and then escaping on the boat bound for Hong Kong. But deciding to leave was a big gamble, and we were the lucky ones who did not have to suffer the same fate as those who stayed in Vietnam.

A Foreigner in my Birth Country

My greatest regret on this trip was not learning the language, even the basics. We have always spoken Cantonese to our parents so we forgot the little Vietnamese we knew. Of course, I still knew many of the Asian traditions and customs (they're universal!) but communication was sometimes problematic. My sister and brother in law, always had to be at hand to translate. I really felt like a foreigner in the country where I was born.

Thankfully the main purpose of my visit was familiar to me, which was to see in the Chinese New Year. It is a time when all loose ends like debts are tied up so that the following year can be started off on a clean slate. In fact everything is literally cleaned. This year is the Year of the Dragon and is considered a very lucky year. This mythical creature is a symbol of luck, prosperity and happiness. So many couples will want to get married this year and many will try for a baby. The Tet Nguyen Dan (Festival of the First Day) announces the start of the Lunar New Year and is the most important festival on the calendar. On Tet Nguyen Dan, extended families reunite to celebrate and wish for good fortune in the coming year. Even ancestral spirits are welcomed back into the family home during this time.

This trip has showed me how proud I am of my Chinese customs, values, and traditions. Even though I did not always feel at home in my birth-country, Vietnam has taught me to appreciate the things I have now and how different life would have been if we hadn't left Vietnam during the war. I feel lucky and privileged our family was given the chance to come to England and make a new home here.