1 April 2002
Ruth Neilson

Flying home from a holiday in India, lying back in my business class seat, looking across at my sleeping fiancé (we got upgraded!) I got to thinking about the experience I'd just had, and whether it had given me any new insights into my mixed-race relationship.

Being the gweiloh girlfriend of a BBC, I've experienced the looks that we get as a couple. There are the occasional frowns of disapproval from older generations generally, both Chinese and white, there are the small smiles of recognition from other mixed-race couples, and then there are the baffled glances or stifled sniggers when people notice that I'm taller than him! But my experiences are all based on my not being the 'ethnic minority', and I've sometimes wondered what it's like for him, being BBC in the UK. Though the country is growing increasingly culturally rich and diverse, it is still predominantly white.

So, arriving at four o'clock in the morning in Chennai airport after over twenty-four hours of travelling, I found myself entering a foreign country, and an alien experience. Apart from the odd lone backpacker, or the aging American tourists, I was the only white person around. I suddenly felt incredibly exposed, as if there was a big flashing beacon on top of my head signaling 'Look here! Foreigner...Alien...Outsider'. I couldn't blend in. Even dressed up in my beautiful new silk sari for a friend's wedding, I stood out.

It was a bizarre feeling. Of course, I was lucky - I was treated like a kind of Grace Kelly figure, half Princess, half movie star. People wanted to touch me, to shake my hand, to get my autograph and to have their photo taken with me. Though I felt initially threatened because of my difference, that threat was never realised.

And so I wonder how my fiancé feels back here in the UK. I guess that having been born here it's normal to him. Well, he doesn't experience all that movie star treatment (though he does have a bit of Bruce Lee about him!) but I wonder if he ever feels like an outsider, or if perhaps it makes him feel special? It was certainly interesting to try out the minority role very briefly, though with the Empiric influences it's obviously a world away from my BBC partner's experiences. It was good to see things from that point of view though. I expect my next challenge will be if we visit Hong Kong and China - I wonder what reaction we'll experience there?