1 March 2002
Chris Atkinson

Classical Graffiti is the debut album of The Planets - a manufactured 'classical fusion' band combining the standard rock line-up of guitars, bass, and percussion with the more traditionally classical violin, cello, flute and oboe. They perform a mixture of arrangements of classical pops - Bolero, Clair de Lune, Carmen etc. - and original compositions by producer, arranger, project-entrepreneur, behind-the-scenes performer and former Wombles hits composer, Mike Batt. The result is a combination of 'Hooked on Classics', the softer end of Progressive Rock (Mike Oldfield sometimes springs to mind) and more than a touch of Riverdance (without the dance).

Much of the whole approach of this disc is summed up by the final (apart from four bonus accoustic remixes) track - 'A One Minute Silence'. Typically, Cage's original idea of 4 minutes 33 seconds has been cropped for today's short and tidy attention span. But more than that, Batt appears to have completely missed Cage's point. By presenting staged silence, Cage drew attention to ambient or background noise with the aim of blurring the distinction between Life and Art. I turned my volume nob up to maximum in the hope of hearing the shuffle of a bum on a seat, the turning of a page of a score, a bit of studio noise . . . nothing! It's a study in Art without the slightest sign of Life.

It's a real shame because The Planets - an ensemble of 'four boys and four girls aged between 19 and 24' were evidently selected not only for their youth and photogenic qualities but also their musical talent. Batt's well-crafted arrangements give ample opportunity for individual and group displays of virtuoso technical skill, but these efforts are over-produced to such a level of refinement that one wonders why Batt didn't just do the whole thing on his keyboards and samplers. Any hint of a wind-player's breath, the commitment in the collision of bow and string, any evidence of the joy, risk, excitement, and guts of ensemble music-making, has been engineered out. The artwork might be sexy but the music certainly isn't.

This is definitely not an album for classical music lovers (a cut version of a Brandenburg Concerto movement is like a Passion play without the Crucifixion) and rockers will find it antiseptic and bloodless, but suppliers of music to listen to in lifts should snap it up.

Have your say! Do you have anything to add? Have the musical talents of The Planets been scuppered by their production? Send us your comments about the CD, or the other issues raised in this piece to: This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it