25 April 2001
Stuart Wood

Kung Fu is getting everywhere these days - geez, we've devoted a whole issue to it here on dimsum...but we're not the only ones. Ever since the seventies there has been a growing fascination with the martial arts. I thought a little trawl into the farther reaches of pop & web culture might be in order. Here's what I came up with. Karate Pop

I'm probably showing my shallow side here but the first image I get when I think of kung fu is still poor Carl Douglas with a dishcloth round his head. He's that guy who sent the nation into a spin of karate chops and high kicks in 1974 with his hit, "Kung Fu Fighting".

If you listen without the glow of a seventies summer, it's something of a travesty. That awful repeated lick, for instance, the typical 'chinese' jingle that conjurs images of tiny people bowing and grinning. And as for the lyrics...well, if you want to know more, go to www.min.net/~douglas/songs/kungfu.html, coz I'm not getting into that.

Funny how a ten-minute recording session can capture the mood of a nation, though. This throw-away single went on to be a huge hit both in the UK and the US, and spawned yet three more cash-in records. Along with the movies and the magazines, this dance craze was a big part of popular experimentation with east asian forms from the seventies onwards.

More recently we've seen the same kind of thing with good old Sporty Spice. She must have spent most of 1998 with her right leg in the air. We could ask why, but let's not. Girls across the land copied her, though, causing all manner of hernia, rupture and simple loss of balance. This particular craze coincided happily with the 'tracky bottoms' thing. Pity the girls who tried the karate kick in their minis.

The Fitness Guru

Then we have the whole fitness obsession, with tai-bo and tai-fit and tai-chi. Tai-chi has a plethora of variants, tai-chi for stress, for pregnant mums, for children, for the kitchen, and probably for the garden. Each has its own guru, video, book and clothing range. Take Tai-Bo's Billy Blanks, for instance, who has shot to international acclaim with a similar right leg attitude. He's taking over the world with his baggy satin shorts and huge gloves.

The thing is, we love it. Our whole celebrity obsession is a good example of how our collective mindset responds to leader figures. But something happens when east asian elements like martial arts are imported into 'western' culture. Leaders become gurus.

A New Buddha: The Business Consultant

Take The Business Consultant. As people in middle management grow ever more aware of the paucity of their lives, so does the power of The Business Consultant to (a) inspire, and (b) capitalise. The US is of course a glorious incubator for this process, but it's only a matter of time before the UK feels the force too. And yes, California keeps coming up with the goods.

At www.sirius.com, "aikido principles are used to enhance organisational leadership and communication skills". If you visit www.leadershipandmastery.com, you will find yourself at the Rancho Strozzi Institute which boasts a'Corporate Dojo', promoting a space where leadership and management skills can be explored within...um...a 'traditional dojo-style conference room'. Mr Strozzi doubtless leads his sessions in a black kung-fu outfit, and little black slippers.

From a more compassionate angle, there are people who incorporate martial arts principles in stress-busting at www.learn-martial-arts.com. You get a similar service at www.robertpater.com, who shows you how kung fu can help the way you move, carry and handle things at work.

And of course you get even more blatant branding with companies like www.kungfuworks.com; and www.bestkung-fu.com, who are just generic IT outfits with inappropriate names.

Kung Fu - it's hard work, man.

All this may seem like simple marketting, or the Management equivalent of fashion's recent obsession with chinese characters, but is there something deeper going on?

At the base of all these management fusions is an urge towards the 'realisation of the self'. Maybe the emergence of a business ethic which explores non-religious forms of discipline such as aikido, kung fu or chi gong is an attempt to 'fill the void' left by too much paperwork and not enough life?

In this respect, the whole enterprise of blending paradigms from around the world is doomed to fail. As soon as these (mostly) men in martial arts-inspired management courses realise that kung fu has a discipline and process of its own, they will run a mile.

It's interesting that a translation of 'kung-fu' is 'work-man'. It may be the post-modern age, but we can't just go on sniffing around whole disciplines and blending elements like there's no tomorrow. Anything with a history like any of the martial arts deserves a bit of respect, and, sadly for some, hard work. It's not all disco dancing.

It's all So Weird

Which brings me on to my favourite victim of all, the Right-Wing Fundamentalist. For the absolute apogee of all things bizarre, visit www.mysticself.com and check out the simply fabulous 'Karate for Christ'. Say no more.