Past and Now - Different Practices

PingPing · Joined: 20 Aug 2006 Posts: 59 Location: KENT

Drinking Tea from Ricebowls

Experience from my childhood, my family and those lived around had drank tea from their ricebowls after dinner, even rinse their mouth in front of people before swallow (yack). I think this is more out of convenience. In those days, we haven’t much choice. To find another cup was such a bother (more washing up!). Also, we didn't have the luxury as today's selection of drinks. If children asked for a drink after their meal, it is more likely that tea will be poured straight into their rice bowl, no argue. We can’t do this with our new generation now, when they want a drink, they mean it in a glass, I understand in many cases, ‘a drink’ means a frizzy one! Even water will be served in their special cup printed with cartoon characters!

I do not see this happen so often now, personally, I don't enjoy drinking tea from greasy ricebowl anymore (yacky :tongue: ). Now, even dinning at home, we often have drinks alongside with the meal, so glasses/mugs/cups are on the table already. If not, we will clear the table after dinner and set new cups for tea. - I still hold the tradition of serving the elders first, with both hands and chant ‘uncle yum-cha’ at the same time .

People moved on, just like the use of communal chopsticks/spoons, we are adopting better practice.

Serve Tea to Seniors

May husband told me many times, his parents had to pay their respect to his elder-uncle, his father’s elder brother, every Chinese new year. When they arrive at the elder-uncle’s home, my husband’s mother had to kneel down to serve the elder-uncle and wife tea. This happened every year until my mother-in-law died.

Kneeling

I was grew up in Hong Kong, I never have kneeled to my parents. 2 year after I married my husband, we went to Shun-Tak in China, I have to kneel to serve tea to my husband’s elder cousins (of the same generation). I only went that once, I am not sure whether I will have to kneel again if I go to visit now. That’s a lot of kneeling although I did get red-packets from them. When we lived in Hong Kong, neither wives of my husband’s younger brothers had kneeled to me (Although I won’t want that). I understand that ritual from my own parents said same generation’s serve tea at same level, i.e. standing. Me and my husband’s family are both Cantonese and of similar background, still family tradition can be so different.

Dimsum in Tea-House

I talk to old people often, I mentioned a childhood experience of going to Yum-Cha at the village Tea-House of my parents’ homeland. My uncle asked me what did I want, I said I like ‘steamed beef-balls’ and ‘steamed spareribs in blackbean sauce’. The dimsum arrived in large plates, there were at least 12 beefballs on the plate! I was stunned! And my elderly friends told me that’s exactly the way they were served in China in old days.
Do you have special family traditions to share with us?
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The struggle, first to survive, and next, to make sense of one's survival .....

darntart · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 65

pingping

Many thanks for posting up those practices. As I as born in the UK, my parents have pretty much done away with all those Chinese traditions, and I feel that I have no way of finding out. I feel really stupid sometimes asking Chinese friends!

I would like to know, are these traditions that have pretty much died out now in say UK/HK or are some of them still going?

Does your knowledge extend to things like medicine? I was particularly thinking about 'yeet- hay'. My Dad refuese to believe in it, but I know that many Chinese do. What are the remedies for this?

PingPing · Joined: 20 Aug 2006 Posts: 59 Location: KENT

Wedding
I left Hong Kong when I was 27. I do not have much chance to observe the old traditions and customs in practice. I went home for my younger brother’s wedding banquet beginning this year. I missed the home ceremony but I understand that the new bride had served teas on her knees to the seniors. I got off the plane and went to the restaurant straight away. My husband and me were given tea by the bride and groom (because I am older). We were told that stand up will be enough. I gave a pair of gold bangles to the bride and has received a handkerchief in return! I understand all being served tea will receive a handkerchief. I will try to find out why handkerchiefs.

My youngest sister got married before her older brothers. On her wedding day, my younger sister has to leave the door with her older brothers’ trousers hung above. I only remember girls have to do this, it seems that boys don’t need to do so.

Funeral
During my father-in-law’s funeral, there had been an unpleasant episode. Traditionally, the oldest male of the next generation of the deceased would carry a white ensign to lead the funeral procession. That duty fell to my husband’s eldest cousin. The cousin refused to do it on the ground that he is a Christian. The senior members of the clan admonished this cousin openly. My husband’s family had spoke to this cousin since. The happening is still being talked among the village. I am simply relay an experience. I am not debating the righteous here and now.

I've learned that since I was little, the meal after a Chinese funeral is of 7 dishes. I never serve a meal of 7 dishes, neither at home nor in a restaurant. There's been occasions that when I entertain guests at home, I somehow prepared a 7-dishe meal, I would immediately splite a dish to 2 plates or just make up a quick dish to avoid the omen. You may say this is auspicious but if my small effort can make myself and other people feel more comfortable, then why not?

Minor Ailments
Yes, I do believe, ‘yeet-hay’, this is not just a Cantonese thing, the Mandarin saying is “shàng hǔo” which means “bring up heat”. I believe ‘yeet-hay’ because it works for me. If I overdose with deep-fried food, I am more likely to expect sore throat, acne etc. There are lots of herbal remedies. Simple one like ‘honey suckle and chrysanthemum drink’, the ‘five-flowers tea’ etc. we call these “leng-cha” . However, nowadays, I found it difficult to trust the quality and sometimes genuineness of the produces. To keep ‘yeet-hay’ away, my advice will be to keep a healthy balance diet, not OVERDOSE with fried/spicy food, plenty of water, vegetables and fruits. When I am unfortunately being caught up, I will take extra portions of fruit juice, citrus, tomatoes etc. in other words, extra Vitamin C.

I had half packet of roasted pumpkin seeds this morning. My mouth, my tongue and my throat are feeling dry now. I am going to take extra fluid, hopefully, I can flush out ‘yeet-hay’.

I believe both Chinese & Western medicines cure illness but we will have to understand our health condition. Western doctors will ask your allergies, so do professional Chinese therapies (herbalist). Seek advice from professionals.
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The struggle, first to survive, and next, to make sense of one's survival .....

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

Brilliant Pingping! I love your stories. I hope it doesn't frighten off katz. How are you going to pass on this knowledge to your children when you do not practilce it anymore here in Kent? Also, are these Taoist customs, Or Buddhist, or a combination, or just the practice in Kwangtung by some traditional families? Do you know if there are books listing all these customs and etiquette? I never realized that such customs were still practiced in your generation. Very, very interesting.

PingPing · Joined: 20 Aug 2006 Posts: 59 Location: KENT

My generation? I am not far from YOUR generation :wink: . I note your remark elsewhere about reveal our age group, I have mentioned before, I am 44. It doesn't bother me.

I know you are interest in Taoism, in fact, my father in law hold a high rank position in his Taoist temple. I know very little about my father in law, my husband brought forward the wedding because the father-in-law was at his last foot. We still have pictures of him in his Taoist gown. I am aware Taoism is a hot topic worldwide. I do not know enough to enter discussion in depth. I went to a Buddhism secondary school. I can relay the 'stories' but has not conform to the religion. I was baptised in a Christain church but then found that I was not really sure. May be I am just stubborn. I am interested in philosophies but resistant to extreme religions.

Those were customs my family pratice, my own family is not of religion. My parents are illiterated people, they copy what their parents did. They practice anything that shows respect to ancestors, god and mother nature.

There must be books on this subject but they are more likely in Chinese. I will try to find out pubulished materials in English.

This in deed is an interesting subject. There are so much that I have forgotten. I will post more in the future.
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The struggle, first to survive, and next, to make sense of one's survival .....

sandmanching · Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 2:23 am Post subject:

how about this one:-

my father passed away 8 years ago and we have an " altar " in the living room with fruit and food bowls in front of his picture...oh and incense.
when my parents friends or relatives come visit they burn 3 sticks of incense and place them in a holder.

catz · Joined: 12 Jul 2006 Posts: 42 Location: London

these are really interesting traditions, i think it's good to keep them alive :)
i only know what i've read in books like 'wild swans' and amy tan books, so it's good to hear personal experiences.

with my boyfriend, his whole family are in hk, apart from his dad and younger sister, so the only tradition is his dad gives the three of us money in the red wallet. my boyfriend lived in hk from age 3 to 8, so he doesn't remember much! he does remember at new year visiting house in his village and collecting red wallets - he described it as being a bit like hallowe'en, and collecting sweets!

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

Jeff Minter · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 342

As far as yeet hay is concerned, I regard it as a broad ranging term that can basically cover anything. It's the equivalent to toxification - by drinking more water, eating less fried crap etc etc you're essentially detoxifying yourself, i.e. less yeet hay.

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

I believe that Chinese people classified foods as "Heaty" or "Cooling" and thus following the Ying/Yang principle, a person had to have a balanced diet to make sure that you did not indulge in one to the detriment of the other. I does make sense. Like if you ate "heaty" foods, you broke out with pimples, and if you stayed on "cooling" foods your complexion imporoved. So I presume that Chocolate would be classified as "Heaty" food. Fried wonton would be heaty. While tea is cooling, especially crysenthemum(sp?) 'Kook Fah Char' tea.

Jeff Minter · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 342

which sums up to 5 fruit and veg a day then.

PingPing · Joined: 20 Aug 2006 Posts: 59 Location: KENT

sandmanching · Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 3:01 am Post subject:

the mid autumn festival will be here next month and l was just wandering if anybody noticed that there aren't any lantern riddles anymore...if there's enough people interested, perhapes we can start a new thread?

more traditional than fortune cookies!

l just thought of this one...should be easy

what is a "stupid total?"....name of a website or a type of chinese food...
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we are the music makers
and we are dreamer of dreams
world losers and world forsakers
on whom the pale moon gleams
yet we are the movers and shakers
of the world forever, it seems.

assis104s · Joined: 31 Mar 2003 Posts: 145

hi Sandmanching - can you explain lantern riddles? i dunno what they are

sandmanching · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 1:55 am Post subject:

hi assis
l haven't seen one in years nor heard anybody talk about it, just another disappearing tradition l guessed.

the mid autumn festival maybe akin to what the west called harvest festival ( harvest moon ) when the bright full moon aided the farmers to gather the crops late into the night...maybe that explain the lanterns too...hence it is a time to celebrate the fruits of your labour..( hehe...star fruits, pomelos...) and mooncakes of course.

l think in the olden days they used to have riddles hanging up with the lanterns, maybe as a entertainment for the people, something to think about while they gazed at the moon looking for the rabbit and Shern-Awe...
l must say though, l am not exactly certain of how the customs came about so don't quote me on it...l am sure mr.google can help.

l do remember some clever ones were like poems, couplets giving clues to the answers.
like maybe...l am making it up as l go along so excuse the example...

arms of feathers,
legs of leather.
sieving beaks in acid lakes
what blushing bride they make....

in this case the answer is a type of bird but they could be about anything...like a word or a famous person etc..

l am sorry if l am not much of a help maybe the older generation can give you a better answer...are your parent/s chinese?

now theres two riddles...anyone?...anyone cares?...
_________________
we are the music makers
and we are dreamer of dreams
world losers and world forsakers
on whom the pale moon gleams
yet we are the movers and shakers
of the world forever, it seems.

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