Teenage pregnancies

ec · Joined: 16 Mar 2008 Posts: 2

Does anyone know of any teenage/unmarried pregnancies within the British Chinese community?

What would the reaction to this be? I'm sure it would be quite a taboo, but I'd just like more opinons, thank you!

chunxueping · Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 763 Location: Beijing, PRC

So what you trying to prove? That we would stone unfortunate girl to death in the market place? Indulge in so-called "honour" killings?

You got the wrong race. We are decent family people. We care for each other.

ec · Joined: 16 Mar 2008 Posts: 2

Hmm, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick.

I was hoping for more of a thoughtful, sensitive debate. This is often a taboo subject regardless of race/culture and I am researching different cultural viewpoints.

I'd appreciate any useful comments based on personal experiences.

Thank you.

siu mai · Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 363 Location: In the sky

I know alot and the parents make them get married quickly " to save face". This isn't anything uncommon at all.

chunxueping · Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 763 Location: Beijing, PRC

OK, It seemed odd that you make first posting to ask quite personal questions.

Im not British-Chinese but "Made-in-China" Chinese, so Im not an expert on British-Chinese "cultural norms". My knowledge through the UK families I do know is that it is relatively rare compared to other peoples and as honoured Siu-Mai say the usual solution might be to "bring the wedding day forward" and baby might be "premature" as they often are but forced marriages are not our style and neither is abortion in the UK at least. However, in mainland China the story is maybe a little different.

chuntruong · Joined: 11 Sep 2007 Posts: 32

Well i know of some one who is BBC and she got pregnant by her boyfriend.

Her family hid the pregnanacy from everybody and when the baby was born the mother of the girl would not acknowledge her grand child - rather she would tell people that they were childminding the baby for a friend of the girl's. But then people got suspicious as the baby never went home to his real 'mum'. I felt very sorry for the baby as his own grandmother was ashamed of him. The mother obviously did not want people to think her daughter had brought shame to the family or for people to gossip about the how the girl had been brought up.

In the end most people started to put 2 and 2 together anyway. Nowadays this is not the end of the world. the child is the innocent party. More and more poeple do not get married, just move and have children. If you do not adapt and accept these changes, I think you risk isolating the next generation.

Jeff Minter · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 342

Yes, my cousin had an unplanned pregnancy when she was 16, her mum burnt her face with frying pan oil so she wouldn't be pretty enough for a man to sleep with her again. She also beat her senseless with the broomstick daily.

She had a miscarriage soon after. Then her father hunted his daughter's lover and cut off his privates with his meat cleaver, before cooking and eating them for breakfast.

You'll find that Western born, western raised people of whatever race has an extremely lenient view on marriages, pregnancies, same sex relationships, casual sex partners, etc. It's when orthodox parents get involved (though mine are chilled about it all, though dad does tell me to wear a condom now and again Sad

)that things go bonkers and people get disowned. Though chinese families will never force their kids into marriage, let alone burn them and stuff.

Jeff Minter · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 342

chunxueping · Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 763 Location: Beijing, PRC

Ah your cousin's family were most lenient.

There is a tale from family near me that a chinese girl was raped and the man was later found nailed to a door floating down the canal. History does not relate what happened to his privates.

Edwina Lee · Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:31 pm Post subject:

Have you ever watched Spiceworld The Movie?
There is a teenage pregnant chinese girl in there who is very friendly with the Spice Girls. She brings along her baby to the auditions Very Happy

She is very chinese in her reaction to food with lip smacking reactions that only chinese stereotypes can do it perfectly Rolling Eyes

Personally, I know only of two chinese single mothers
- my cousin divorced with 2 teenage children in Hong Kong
- my neighbour similarly, in Hong Kong.

chunxueping · Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 763 Location: Beijing, PRC

Except she not Chinese but is Naoko Mori who is Brit-Japanese and is one of the very unrealistic woman characters in Torchwood. She is also better known as Saffy's dipsy mate in AbFab.

chuntruong · Joined: 11 Sep 2007 Posts: 32

Jeff,

the father decieded he was too young to be tied down and went back to HK, so the girl is now a single mum

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