How do you know you're Chinese?

mdtt1983 · Joined: 03 Oct 2005 Posts: 18 Location: London

Dudes, check this out!

Mine would be 10, 20, 72! What would yours be?

By the way - what kinda chinese people use Jam Jars as glasses?

Here we go, 88 ways to know you're Chinese:

1. You look like you are 18.
2. You like to eat chicken feet.
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
5. You sing Karaoke.
6. Your house is covered with tile.
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
8. Your stove is covered with aluminium foil.
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
17. You love to use coupons.
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
20. You take showers at night.its the only natural time of day, your dirty from the whole day hence you must shower at night
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.western girls that is
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper.
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why you need
the vinyl tablecloth).
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
34. You have never used your dishwasher.
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
38. You have a piano in your living room
39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
41. You hate to waste food.
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one
leftover chicken wing.
43. You don't own any real Tupperware only a cupboard full of used but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.

44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every
time you stay in a hotel.
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any
car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include
dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.

47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
49. The dash board of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys.
50. You don't use measuring cups.
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
53. You always look ph0ne numbers up in the ph0ne book, since calling
information costs 50 cents .
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you
giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.

56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
59. Shaolin actually mean something to you.
60. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've
eaten, even if it's midnight.
64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked
goods due to "yeet hay".
65. You know what "yeet hay" is.
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet
apart.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellery or
electronics.
70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to
use them again.
71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
73. You know what moon cakes are.
74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them
in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
76. You iron your own shirts.
77. You play a musical instrument.
78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away
the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.wastage is no good

79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit
people's homes.
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it
that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment
next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighbourhood.

84. You don't tip more than 0% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip
Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last
piece of food on the table.
87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends

snikto · Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 28

You know, the name of the list sounds like it would make a good title of a film

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

More Importantly, What does it mean to be a Chinese living in England? Do you fit? Do you belong? Why are you still here?

Jeff Minter · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 342

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

mdtt, where did you get this list? Did you make it up yourself?

taichi · Joined: 03 Sep 2006 Posts: 59 Location: australia

:lol: 1 does apply :lol: 21 yep, 22 nope,38,41,57, 58, 59,77, 82 yep
10, 11 I always hug and kiss my family, esp. parents
Other questions nope.....Did you make up this list or was it a joke, I assume so

What is yeet hay?
Am I nuts because I don't fulfill the list of being Chinese?

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

I am quite ignorant about "Yeet Hay" except what I learned from our maids when we were very young. The Chinese believe that food is classified as "heaty" or "cooling". For example, fried "won ton" is "heaty" and "chrysentamum tea (Kook far char)" is cooling. chinese tea is "cooling" vs. coffee is "heaty". It is the ying-yang of food. You must balance your diet or you will break out with pimples, or even get sick, or not feel well. Durian is very heaty, and you must finish by drinking some water that has been salted off the hollow of the durian shells. All sorts of beliefs like that. There migh be some lessons to be learned form that.

taichi · Joined: 03 Sep 2006 Posts: 59 Location: australia

I have some post-graduate training in acupuncture and TCM. According to my research, I'm at work now, yeet hay means too much heat, dong hay too much cold. Martial arts as well as food strive for the balance between yin and yang.

At present I'm researching for the tao of food for martial artists where I think it would be useful for any other sports- and sedentary person. It is interesting enough to find out that the Western viewpoint does not differ too much from the TCM concept.

Fish and chips or durian is yeet hay. From the Western scientifically validated concept these foods are high in empty calories and GI(glycemic index). To find out more about this please view:www.glycemicindex.com

Western studies are population studies but in private medical practices there are some attempts, which become more mainstream now, that diet should be adjusted to the individual. The TCM concept considers and diagnoses the individual by examing his yin and yang traits. There is the yin-yin, yin-yang and yang-yang type of constitution and his diet needs to be adjusted.

E.g. a person with arthritis can be a yang type and his diet needs to be adjusted with more cooling substances. Another person with the same Western diagnosis can be a yin type who may need warming substances. A person with high blood pressure can be totally different. It can be a yin as well as a yang person. Western research has revealed a similar concept of the coffee-, salt- and hyperstress- sensitive, needing different medication and diet.

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

Taichi you confuse me. One post you state that you do not know what "Yeet Hay" is and in a followoing post you you claim to be doing research in the Ying/Yangs of food. You were trying to draw us out weren't you?

You say that you are doing some post-graduate training in acupuncture and TCM. (Assuming the TCM=Traditional Chinese Medicine). On your profile, you are a physician is that=MRCP? Our son is an MRCP, MRCA specializing in Pain. He also did a course in acupuncture. Interesting you trying to marry TCM with western technology. Your research papers should be interesting.

Well do you think diet has a bigger role to play in medicine/well being than the west has given it credit?

taichi · Joined: 03 Sep 2006 Posts: 59 Location: australia

It is just a terminology thing, I never heard the word yeet hay but assumed what it is. Tai Chi means the grand ultimate of yin/yang balance, however, this is the wrong term. Tai Chi Chuan is a martial art and Tai Chi means balance in the broad sense of Western translation. Tai Chi Chuan means the grand ultimate balanced yin/yang fist, because chuan or quan(pinyin spelling) means fist or physical power in the broader sense

I just researched a book in English about what yeet hay really was and now I do know that I'm familiar with the concept. I completed my degrees in Germany and the U.S., my residency in partly U.S. military hospitals and in the U.S. I am a MD(doctor of medicine) and PHD in exercise and nutritional science(Western) Most research in TAi Chi and TCM are conducted in the Western countries as well as in China. In China these disciplines are also more researched by means of Western technology

China at present is getting very decadent with their diet, a lot of deep-fried stuff, McDonald, Pizza Hut, Chinese fast food etc.

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

moved

elle · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 334 Location: Nottingham, UK

Moved

rawbine · Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Kuala Lumpur, MY

I like your list mdtt, there's 88 of them! Perfect!

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