Negativity Prone

Speechless · Joined: 14 Apr 2003 Posts: 7

Having previously been cursed with it, I'm in no way trying to exonerate myself.

Why is it that when asked to debate an issue, some people make like a steam train, as if on a mission to convince everyone that they are right and therefore everyone else is not worthy? Then, as soon as holes appear in their own argument, jump on the defensive, stubborn as hell, and seem to take other points of view as somehow a knocking to their intergrity? Should people like this be included in an adult discussion?

I eventually grew out of this habit around my 20th birthday, many many years ago. When do you think this self realisation occurs, on average?

OceanLee · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 85

I don't agree with you, you're totally wrong!!!

Only kidding :) Seriously, my own self realisation happened through uni and is still going on I reckon. The problem is that very few things in life are black and white, but shades of grey. Those that are enlightened will be sitting in their various shades of grey depending on bias. Those that aren't, well, they find it difficult moving from what they absolutely believe in to the unknown.

Example: I had a chat with a Jehovah's witness once (I like to wind them up :) ). After discussing theology with him, and saying I didn't believe in his heaven, his answer was "There must be!". He couldn't get it through his head that some people would accept that this is all there is, simply because he didn't believe it "should" end. His whole belief was based on his disbelief (that there simply has to be something more).

So maybe some people will never change, because to accept everything is grey is to accept a lot of uncertainty into their lives, and thats not an easy thing to do.

sp · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 218

Agreed speechless, this is all too common especially on another british born chinese website I used to read!

I think the term 'Little Emperor (or Empress) Syndrome' is appropriate here. A mixture of arrogance, wanting to be seen to be important or clever, not showing respect to others, not admitting when you are wrong. I think lack of emotional maturity is a factor as well.

I sometimes wonder if the bbc upbringing somehow encourages people to act like this. Are Chinese people or bbc's more prone to this syndrome? Is it frustration? Angst? The way we are brought up? Or does the internet just encourage people to be like that?

sp

OceanLee · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 85

Come to think of it, it might be more a BBC thing as sp suggests. All the forums (past and present) I've haunted don't have this behaviour as much as the BBC websites have. Hmmm...Gonna have to take a long hard look in the mirror tonight and hope I've not turned out the same way!

emem · Joined: 22 May 2003 Posts: 39

Think it is universal. Look at the way Tony Blair and George Bush are on War on Iraq; how did they threat the French? So, please just give people time to grow up, and feel more confident about themselves so they won't have such inferiority complex.
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EM

OceanLee · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 85

Blair and Bush are both nearing 50 and are still narrow minded and righteous. If they haven't grown-up by now then I doubt they ever will!! :)

porkscratchings · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 112 Location: BirmingHAM

When i think of discussion i think of those arguing of points of view where everyone agrees to disagree. Wot's more everyone is nice about it and there's no aggro. There's also a chairperson or moderator who ensure everyone has a chance to have their say.

Sadly this is not the case even on this website - it is more of the case of 'He who shouts the loudest wins'. so u get pple who post an opinion. Someone posts a counter view only for the first person to repeat wot they said b4 only more forcefully, as if repetition of their view automatically proves everyone else wrong. I am fast getting bored of this style of debate which goes nowhere interesting. Then those idiots who've driven pple off posting will moan the website's getting boring! But who's fault is dat?

Or u get someone who puts up a point of view as if they're inviting a discussion. U go in and post only to find the person has already made up their mind on the topic and is not interested in discussion at all. They are in fact seeking supporters for a point of view or seeking to convert others to their opinion. U put up a lengthy post only to be ignored - so why waste time thinking up a interesting response when no one wants to know. Conclusion - i don't bother anymore.

There is also some folks who use public forums as a platform for expressing racist and other intolerant viewpoints. U point this out - u get hatemail and endless slagging off. Conclusion - I don't bother anymore.

I don't think it is just BBCs who behave this way - pple who are intolerant of other views or too self focussed to give anyone the time of day - can be found anywhere. Someone mentioned religious evangelists - i've seen one shouting rude comments about gays going to hell. Such a person is too closeminded to listen to anyone else - or allow them their say.

Me - I'll dip into websites from time to time but i won't stick around to engage in lengthy discussions. Mostly i turn up to crack jokes with some friends i've made on those sites and that is all.

Editor · Site Admin Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 215

thanks for your comments, just wanted to follow up on a point from porkscratchings:

sp · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 218

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