To be or not to be

orbital eccentric · Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 7

I've only just found this site and haven't read very much. Maybe the answer is in the site somewhere...?

I was born in Singapore to a Malay Chinese mother and an UK born English Father.

So I can't be a BBC - what am I then Confused

joybetluck · Joined: 25 Aug 2007 Posts: 125

I would say it depends where you feel you belong and whether those around you acknowledge your existence. Confused

Jeff Minter · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 311

Singaporean born Chinese (or Asian-Singaporean is the correct term outside the UK, I guess) with mixed descent.

But considering you used a pathetically cheesy pun in the title, you'd qualify as british anyway.

orbital eccentric · Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 7

OK Jeff, let's provide a bit more info.

My father was in the UK Armed Forces based in S'pore in the 60's. I was born in a UK military hospital. I was issued with a UK Forces birth certificate and ever since have considered myself British.

I have lived around the world and if one wants to classify me then I guess I'd be British middle class.

So, am I a Singaporean born Chinese with mixed descent as you suggest (I do not hold Singaporean citizenship and actually do not qualify) or am I British of mixed descent?

But then the British are a mixed lot!

Or maybe I consider myself European...
Cool

Jeff Minter · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 311

The latter. A military base is effectively British soil, despite being surrounded in foreign territory. On top of that you identify yourself as British, and one of your parents was British. You even have "genetically British" descent, which will keep the BNPers happy.

You're probably more British than me to the outside world, blah.

Also there might be something to do with independence from the UK, as I recall Singapore did that in the 60s.

Fruityboy · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:49 pm Post subject:

Like most mixed race kids you just sound confused about your identity. Anyway why do you have to belong to one group or another? Can't you do both?

Edwina Lee · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 574 Location: High Wycombe, UK

Orbital,

'Identity' and 'who you are' are rather confusing questions similar to 'what is the meanig of life'.

They are vague, imprecise, unobjective questions suitable only for people to whaffle on in woolly minded company.

Life is a game of skill. When you are born to look like a chinese, but brought up in an english environment, you lost the chinese culture which other chinese use to socialise with other chinese. Yet, caucasean people see you at 1st meeting as genetic chinese. There is therefore, much variation as to how they would react to you. Would they react to you as they would react in meeting another caucasean?

How to play this game of life is your choice. You can live up to your looks as a chinese and be knowledgeable in chinese matters as an advantage, or you can abandon that side completely and try to play as if you are just like a caucasean.

Personally, I think it is a better strategy to retain some chineseness as an advantage.

Look at people from different parts of the UK. They have accents which make themselves a distinctive brand for better or for worse. Many TV presenters actively retain their regional accents to their advantage. Look at science fiction serious like Star Trek, how people of different appearance and characteristics take up different roles to fit into the missions.

Let this recognition and basic strategy be a starting point. You need to choose one or the other.

Edwina xx

siu mai · Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 363 Location: In the sky

Edwina Lee · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 574 Location: High Wycombe, UK

Just being oneself and that would be alright is a common wishy washy way of looking at life. It is a statement which says nothing at all!

In the poem Desiderata, it says 'be yourself, strive to be happy'. I follow that philosophy, but it is advice which doesn't mean anything to someone who does not know enough about oneself.

The starting point is what does it mean by knowing oneself?

This is how I see it:-

To achieve the state of knowing oneself, one needs to be able to give good answers to lots of important questions about oneself.

[1] Where am I now:
Knowing one's capabilities and limits;
Knowing how others see me;
Knowing the roles I play and how I fit in with others;
Knowing about what I don't know enough;
. . .

[2] Where am I choosing to go from here?
What kind of tangible futures am I aiming;
What roles do I aim for;
What capabilities do I need to enance;
What capabilities am I using to my advantage;
What changes do I am to make;
. . .

These are difficult concepts to master, and for someone of mix descent/mix culture, there are more choices and more complexities;

Good game,
Edwina xx

ex-VAG · Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Posts: 432

sunnyoyk · Joined: 18 Nov 2006 Posts: 149 Location: London

Connie and Leslie Hoe are both of mixed race (father Chinese, and mother English). They are regarded as the first generation of mixed race (Chinese/English) couple in the UK. Their parents were the first settlers in Limehouse Chinatown by the docks of East London.

Connie and Leslie Hoe have made a short film entitiled 'The Original Chinatowners' for BBC Video Nation recently. See and listen to what they have to say in their short film vide:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/videonation/articles/l/london_theoriginal.shtml

orbital eccentric · Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 7

ooo - a flurry of activity!

'Stuff' in my life - perhaps as FruityBoy suggests it stems from my mixed race background. But I don't think so...? Confused

I guess that having found this site and being intrigued as to who & why, I posted something rather rhetorical (in the spirit of friendliness) to see what the reaction would be.

Thing is I only look 'half' Chinese or so I think. My relatives in Singapore don't think I look Chinese at all.

My brother looks less Chinese than me. We weren't brought up to speak Chinese (Cantonese) but my brother went to University to do Mandarin. He speaks it fluently and can write in characters. He has lived in Hong Kong for the last 15 years. A while back when I went to visit him, in a Chinese restaurant the waiter turned to me and started to speak in Chinese. I shrugged my shoulders and pointed to my brother. The restaurant staff were highly amused that me looking Chinese could not speak the lingo and my brother who looks Caucasian could!

Although I've never consciously thought about it I suppose I do take advantage of my genetics as siu mai suggests as in certain scenarios people are curious and interested.

But I'm a real disappointment to my mother as I'm not a proper Chinese 'boy'!

BTW - are the experiences of mixed-racers who have Chinese fathers and English mothers different to those whose fathers are English (prob. ex Forces) and mothers are Chinese.

Edwina Lee · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 574 Location: High Wycombe, UK

Orbital,

You shouldn't let your genetic make up elude how you perceive other people see you.

A stranger can only perceive you through your appearance. Either you look chinese or you don't. Clearly, the chinese waiter perceive you as chinese.

So there you have it. A stranger perceive your appearance as chinese. Now how would you play the game of life?

You either decide to be knowledgeable and live up to the expectations from your appearance, or you don't.

Edwina Lee · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 574 Location: High Wycombe, UK

Talking to your brother about this topic should be the most useful.

He must have some compelling reasons which led him to put in all that effort.

I don't mean a 5 minute talk, but spread it over several months of conversation.

joybetluck · Joined: 25 Aug 2007 Posts: 125

Orbital you are definitely English. You need to work your way into their society. You may find enjoyment in Chinese things as a tourist but you cannot participate fully as you cannot speak nor read Chinese. You can of course start at the bottom again. Cool

You can by past the Chinese bit if you are internationally famous in your career or control extraordinary wealth! Twisted Evil

You worry too much about little things like what you look like. In reality these are small-talk to pass the time.
"But I'm a real disappointment to my mother as I'm not a proper Chinese 'boy'!"
Your mother is not disappointed, she is anxious for your well being!
Don't live your life living up to your mother's expectation! Find your own niche in life! If you are happy your mother would be happy as she loves you.

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