A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a Chinese friend about families, and the different types of family relationships we can observe in different nations. In many British families people tend to have great distance, and to share very little of their burdens with each other. In Chinese families quite the opposite appears to apply. Responsibility to family is taken quite seriously, and people will sacrifice a great deal to ensure they are fulfilled.

We started to talk about which type of family relationship was better. We wondered if Greek families - with their notorious closeness - were healthier and better than British ones, and how the hierarchal family structure in traditional Chinese families compared to patriarchal and conservative Irish families. In the process of our highly subjective comparison we encountered startling similarities in the way families work, regardless of which country or culture they are located in.

In virtually every country brought into the conversation apart from Britain, families were close. Grandparents, uncles and aunts and cousins all played a part in the fabric of everyday life for people. The nuclear family is not very nuclear at all. Elders are generally respected, and carry a responsibility both for the guidance and education of their children and grandchildren. Fathers are nominally the head of the household, and in reality mothers keep everything running.

But for what we might call the 'native' British - in particular the middle class English - family coherence seems to be disappearing. Even the relationship between parents and children is increasingly distant, with parents charging children rent and encouraging them to leave the family home at the first opportunity. More and more people have to face the problems of life on their own, and to seek answers based only on their own experience and intuition. This led us to take an unexpected twist in our conversation. We suddenly found ourselves asking a question.

Does Britain need immigrants like ourselves (I'm Irish) for more reasons than economic ones? When it comes down to it, does Britain need immigrants to help keep its society together?

In the aftermath of World War 2 and a massive post-industrial restructuring, people in Britain no longer live on the lands where their ancestors roamed. Indeed, the average person is lucky to live near enough to their parents to visit with any frequency. The lure of service jobs and the pressure of economic competitiveness forces job seekers to relocate all around the country. In addition, since 1950 the traditional heavy industries have almost entirely collapsed, taking with them generations of certain employment in areas like Liverpool, Strathclyde, Birmingham and Cardiff.

For the first time the insular and conservative native inhabitants of this land are faced with large-scale social-geographic changes. People have to move around to make a living, and their traditional way of life is being eroded because of this. Perhaps because of this family structures are unravelling, and people are so alone. And perhaps that is where 'we' come in.

Immigrants from countries like China, Ireland and Greece have a great deal of experience of social-geographic change. Wars, famines and political upheaval of one kind or another have seen us herded all over the place. Because of this we all have experience in working out how families can be close regardless of distance. It is possible that immigrants have a very important place in ensuring a prosperous and happy social structure for the future of these islands.

The far right in Britain - like the BNP's Nick Griffin - would argue that the opposite is true. They would argue that it is because of us that people in Britain no longer feel safe. Chinese, Irish and other ethnic groups appearing in London, Birmingham, Manchester and other towns pushed away at a time when doors were unlocked, and ushered in the rather grim social problems of today. Sadly we cannot please everyone, and there will always be those who blame 'outsiders' for the problems they encounter. It is inevitable that some people will favour separation and isolation rather than inclusion and understanding. The most important thing is to remember that in the long run each new community in Britain will contribute a great deal of value to this multicultural country. Our legacy may well be of helping unlock doors in the future, rather than forcing them closed.

 

Comments

Add New Search RSS

Write comment
Name:
Subject:
	-color-aquablackbluefuchsiagraygreenlimemaroonnavyolivepurpleredsilvertealwhiteyellow -size-tinysmallmediumlargehuge
Security Code: Type the code in the image (helps prevent spam)