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I am supposed to be preparing for my audition for Peter Pan tomorrow, but I can't bear this any more, I must write it down now. I performed for a Chinese gathering recently to celebrate the Moon Festival in the Royal China restaurant on Baker Street. I played two pieces on the zheng and after the performance, the new cultural councillor from the Chinese embassy came to ask me for my contact details and asked if I would be free to perform for them the following week. I checked my diary and said I was free and would be happy to perform for them. He said good and he would let me know the details later. By Tuesday of the week of the performance, I hadn't heard back from him, and I thought that as the event wasn't far away, I must give them a call to see if they still wanted me. The Secretary of the Chinese embassy called while I was thinking this and asked if I was still available, I said yes and I told her that I had been keeping that evening free since councillor Lin last mentioned about the performance. She asked how much I would charge, I said a hundred pounds plus taxi fares. I said I would normally ask a bit more, but this is ok for when I perform for Chinese communities. She said they have already planned the budget which is a hundred pounds, she asked if it's ok to pay me 100 including travel. I said I really couldn't perform for 100 including travel as taxis are probably going to cost £50 each way. I explained artists needed to live too, we do this to make a living and I didn't think other zheng players would be happy if I started to charge people a lot less than the market price. She said she understood and money wasn't the main problem, she said she would check with them and let me know the next day. The "next day" passed, I didn't hear from her, so I called this morning to confirm it. She said "oh, I was meaning to call you. Well, I asked them, they are a bit unhappy, you know, this was already agreed in the first place, anyway, there is another musician who is willing to come to perform for us for free as he/she thinks it's such an honour to perform here in the embassy so we are going to have him/her instead..." Already agreed? I said I would be free and I would be happy to perform for them, but he and I never talked about the fee, so, that is so-called "already agreed in the first place"? Secondly, if they had found someone and didn't need me any more, shouldn't they be calling me to let me know? This is not the first time I have got angry with Chinese officials or Chinese organisers and this won't be the last time. From this one little tiny thing, you can see the corruption there. Did councillor Lin ever hear the other musician playing? So quality of music doesn't matter at all, but someone with a sweet mouth says it's an honour to perform for you and is happy to do it for free? Why should it be free? Why should they expect artists to perform for them for free? And why should they be unhappy because the fact I asked to be paid a certain amount rather than simply accept what they offered? There are more than enough Chinese who would offer things free to people, like the Chinese councillors in London of course, as they know what they might get back later by having such a "guanxi". I guess the famous singer SONG Zuying has always performed free for our dear ex-chairman Jiang Zemin. By the way, I have heard people call him "Jiang Zaimin" instead in Beijing which literately means "Disaster for the People Jiang". However, SONG did become China's number singer and had major concerts all over the world in venues that other Chinese singers could only dream of. Why haven't I leant to keep a distance from certain Chinese by now?! One of the first few days that I came to London, a well know Taiwanese dancer in London called me and asked if I wanted to go to perform in Cornwall for an event. The price was rather low for such a journey but I thought it would be nice to leave London for a weekend, so I agreed. The organiser in Cornwall mentioned the fee in front of me and I was shocked. The price that I was told by that Taiwanese lady was actually only half of the price that the organiser was paying. I was unhappy so I called her for an explanation once returned to London. She said that this was London and this was the way things were, performers should never know what the agencies were getting. She then cancelled her other bookings with me. But at least I am still surviving as a Chinese dancer in London without being in her good books. Often when I speak to my mum, she reminds me to be more careful with people around me. She thinks I am too naive and have a bad habit of trusting almost everyone around me. She is right, but I am slowly learning over the years. I am not saying you should to careful with all Chinese, as there are plenty Chinese who are unbelievably lovely and kind, but they are likely to be among the normal people, who don't have governmental positions or a too famous name. To be honest, during the past five years that I have lived in Britain, the only times that I did feel tricked, cheated, controlled or used were all by Chinese people here, either mainland Chinese, Taiwanese or Malaysian Chinese. One of which even set up a charity that I volunteered for. Why not?! One, avoiding tax; two, gaining a good reputation; three, to have the right to use volunteers - those who actually do want to help - for free! I didn't know anyone could be this clever before but I eventually learnt. Now looking back, I wish it hasn't taken me that long to discover the truth, actually, I hope I never believed that person in the first place. Today, I am telling myself one more time - Be more careful with some Chinese people! Meimei
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